According to the dictionary, this word means the following: Conformity in the application of something, typically that which is necessary for the sake of logic, accuracy, or fairness.
Consistency is something that I have struggled with my entire life thus far. I have noticed numerous times in my life that I broke a habit out of not being consistent with practicing said habit. I have also noticed that if I was doing something for someone else, I would be consistent and at their beck and call, regardless of the task.
Where does this need to people-please or overfilling of other’s cups, despite the obvious sign of own’s cup needing water, come from? Is this a deep routed insecurity or am I just lazy?
I have read many blog posts to try to understand why I am more consistent with other people’s requests but struggle so hard to be consistent in my own requests. A majority of the blog posts gave a brief explanation of the importance of consistency and even offered tips to improve being consistent in whatever area you may be struggling in, but none (that I have seen) targeted the idea of self-worth’s effect on consistency.
The Self-Consistency Theory was developed by Prescott Lecky in the 1920s and focuses on the importance of the self in the regulation of thoughts and ideas. The basis of this theory proposes that people use self helping measures to maintain consistency of ideas within the individual. Consistency of ideas and representation of the self are integral in humans.
Cognitive Dissonance is a theory proposing that we avoid having conflicting beliefs and attitudes because it makes us uncomfortable. The clash is usually dealt with by rejecting, debunking, or avoiding new information.
Is the error I experience in consistency linked to the head-butting of these two theories? I begin a new habit, am consistent with it for a while, and fall off because of the discomfort of experiencing cognitive dissonance in the form of overthinking the new habit to death. I think finding the strength to keep participating in the habit despite the discomfort is the key to being consistent. As cheesy as it sounds, constantly showing up for yourself is where the journey to self-consistency should begin. Constantly making the decision to continue to despite wanting to throw in the towel bestows courage and bravery, which are characteristics not all people possess.
But why is it easier to show up for others than ourselves? Short answer: Self-Worth. In my opinion, the only way to increase self-worth is to continue to show-up for ourselves in every situation we are in and every decision we make. Each time you show-up for yourself, the courage and bravery within you also grows alongside the self-worth, which creates stronger roots within yourself.
