One way children cope with an anxious parent is by trying to make them feel better, but nothing the child does makes the parent feel any better. This leads to the child thinking that no matter what I do my parent will not get better, which makes the child feel helpless and continue to try things even though they won’t work. If the parent is reserved, the child will think that the parent does not love them or want to pay attention to them.
Another way children cope with an anxious parent is always trying to foresee all possible outcomes. When parents tell children everything, including bad things, this can make the child always jump to the worst possibility and every other possibility in future conversations. This leaves the child feeling unsure and never feeling secure because of fear of something bad going to happen.
Another way children cope with anxious parents is always feeling like there is something that they can be doing, or not doing enough. Parents that care about their image and had high expectations make the child think they always have to be doing something or doing better than the others because if they don’t they aren’t doing enough. Their self-worth is tied to other people’s opinions and their work/career performance. This will only continue the cycle and the child will become a parent and continue to do the same unless it is stopped.
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